Masseuse Open Day

Hello. Just to let you know that tomorrow our local Thai massage parlour (Han Ki Pan Ki) will be throwing open it’s door as part of the Government’s national Hey Scrounger, Get A Job programme. Those lazy job-seekers who attended the recent abatoir and prison opendays will know it’s likely be a real hands-on experience and a stimulating day out for all the family (everyone is welcome although the day is really for dole scum). So come and have a relaxing massage in beautiful quiet surroundings (Han Ki Pan Ki is between the scrap yard and the drum shop). Meet the masseurs, who promise to be uplifting and attentive company with a “special something” for everyone over 18. Workshops will be held on applying essentials oils, handling drunk clients and something called “finding those elusive zones and working up rhythmic pressure.” Our wheelchair-user friends will be catered for in the Han Ki Pan Ki “drive-thru” and to keep the younger members of the family occupied there’s a television showing reruns of The Teletubbies, subtitled in Thai. The day will be a real eye-opener, so see you there.

More local employers are promising similar open days so keep watching this space. Ruth Freshford. Manager. JobCentrePlus

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