Hello and happy Christmas. I’ve just sneaked away from my reheated turkey breakfast to pass on this message from the organisers of today’ traditional Boxing Day Swimming Race. IT’S CANCELLED! Due to recent storms the River Winnet has swollen to dangerous levels and over-cautious health and safety officials have warned the public to keep away… Alternative watery venues have failed to materialise; the swimming pool had it’s roof blown off earlier this week, and is at present closed, and the lido is shut as that is where the swimming pool roof ended up. Organisers hope to reschedule the race as soon as the waters subside. All the best Mayor G. Grimsby.

(Above) The swollen River Winnet this morning before jobs-worth officials
cancelled today’s swimming race