Hello to my Coxettes, it’s your stunningly attractive mentor Prof Brian Cox here, and i’m writing because i’m unhappy. Not only am I having a very rare bad hair day (a bad hair week in fact as my hairdresser isn’t able to visit apart from squeezing hair gel through my letterbox). On top of that I am amazed at the mass of stupid questions I am getting every single day. Lockdown has increased the volume of such inane queries so much that I am now forced to say cease fans! STOP NOW!!!! I am ok with serious, scientific questions but will no longer engage with covidiots. The following extract is the sort of rubbish jamming up my inbox, stopping celebs, such as Bradley Walsh and Sir Elton, getting in touch me…
Dear Paddy Cox (sic), can you help? Last night I put our kitchen clock forward by an hour and the hour-hand fell off. Why has this happened? Could it have caught Corona Virus? Can you come round and check on it? Hopefully, if it’s germ free could you glue it back on?
Firstly don’t call me Paddy. It’s Professor to you. Second, the Government’s Chief Medical Officer says clocks can’t get the virus. Yet. Thirdly, In case they can i’m not coming round to fix it! Fourthly I’ve run out of glue. Besides which I am so busy with my online celebrity life that emails like this tire me out. So STOP sending them to me! Thank you
I’m off now to discuss hair products with my dear friend Claudia Winkleman on zoom. Keep well, Prof Brian Cox.
(Above) Brian Cox suffering from a bad hair day and answering inane questions