Hello my flock. Just to remind you that all church services for the foreseeable future will now be “online.” The Archbishop Of Canterbury very kindly popped round to the vicarage (dressed in a rather fetching virus resistant onesie and mask) to get me set up. He fiddled about and “upgraded my laptop,” as he described it, so I can now “video call” you all. It’s very much like a 21st century version of the sermon on the mount! And if my internet proves to be too slow Church Warden Noddy Holder has offered to film me through my closed kitchen window and transmit the sermon with his phone. But i’m sure God in his wisdom will enable me to spread Christian joy in this time of lock-down. For the time being I will be doing just one service each week at 4pm so it doesn’t clash with any good telly (apart from Easter when i’ll put on an extra special additional “show” on Good Friday morning). I have been very fortunate not to be spending social-isolation alone, the Lord provided me with company in the form of dishy choir master Nigel Havers. God ensured lock-down occurred on Monday night just as Nigel and I were discussing wine, bread and hymns… So he’s staying put with me here, just so he’s safe of course (he’d luckily popped round with an overnight bag and his favourite pillow). His young wife is said to be delighted he’s well and in good company. Have a wonderful lockdown and look forward to “seeing” you all this afternoon at 4pm. Or thereabouts.
May your God be online with you, Cyril Knutsford. Vicar. Beckworth St Faiths
(Above) An artists impression of Noddy Holder filming Rev Knutsford’s sermon