Dear all. I’m very pleased to announce that Anthony “Tony” Worrall-Thompson and his son Heston Blumenthal have almost finished another part of their mammoth “Fudgeworth” model village (of Beckworth made entirely of fudge). They’ve made a great many models in the past 24 months but need a few thousand fudge bricks to complete the high street and Sainsco supermarket. Then they will be able to open to the fee paying the public, who I am sure will flock from far and wide to visit the sweet smelling sticky attraction. Heston told me during a long pungent toilet break earlier today that he and his Dad need all of Beckworth’s residents to make at least seven kilograms of fudge each to get this part of the model finished in time for Easter. Or summer… So get baking Beckworth, the celebrity chefs need you. And remember we are an equal opportunities hotel with wheelchair access so there’s no excuse for differently-abled residents not personally delivering fudge. Thanks, Sandy Luton, General Manager, Hill View Hotel

(Above) Father and son fudge-builders Tony and Heston