Breaking potential new business news just in… Following yesterday’s announcement that our close friends the Chinese and French are to build and run a new Nuclear power plant at somewhere called Hinkley Point in the UK, leaked documents show this appears to be the merest of hints of Government ambitions. The top-secret document, left in a public toilet cubicle, show that new PM Teresa May‘s quest is to sell everything off to the lowest bidder thus reducing the burden on the state which in turn could possibly reduce the country’s debt in the short term and give a lot of directorships to her friends and colleagues. North Korea are said to in the running to own and operate all the UK’s utility companies, Russia to supply and operate the UK’s nuclear deterrents, Zimbabwe to operate our border controls and Iran to train and control our police forces. “It’s an ambitious and quickly thought out plan which is to be applauded” a Tory flunky told me earlier this morning over a sherry “Even if in the long term it costs tax payers over the odds it will be worth it to save the Government having any responsibilities so we can get in on with the important stuff like reintroducing Grammar Schools and making sure unhealthy food is advertised to children” I’ll keep you posted if I get any more news from the top secret dossier… Christine Batley, Deputy Chief Post Brexit Correspondent. Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette

(Above) An artists’s impression of a public toilet cubicle where secrets could be left