Heroic Son Released On Parole

Dear Beckworth. As promised many years ago I am keeping my husband Noel Edmund’s billions of fans up to date with whereabouts of our youngest son Neil, the World famous ice skating champion and mime artist. You may remember our favourite son left Beckworth almost exactly five years and unfortunately a short time into his round the world skating and mime trip was arrested and imprisoned in Italy for allegedly roller-blading nude outside the Vatican… He luckily escaped prison by disguising himself as a takeaway-pizza box and thanks to a very friendly oil tanker hitched a ride to Brazil… He hadn’t been in Rio long when he was imprisoned again, this time on fabricated charges of imitating in the street, naked apart from a crown of thorns, the famous statue Christ The Redeemer… Thankfully after serving almost 3 years in a maximum security prison Neil has been placed on probation and is planning to stow-away to the USA, where he will no doubt be welcomed and given shelter by his Dad’s legions of American fans. Sir Donald Trump is a fan of Noels House Party so perhaps Neil will end up working at the White House? I’ll keep you posted on Neils’s ongoing adventure, hopefully at last starting the US leg of his global quest to bring ice skating and mime to the World’s rich and famous. And you can show you care by sponsoring Neil via his dad’s Deal Or No deal website or by giving us large amounts of cash in person (no coins please). Many thanks (Mrs) Nell Edmunds

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