Dear all. I just wanted to say well done to my cousin Jack-A-GooGoo for getting through to the next round on The Great British Bake Off. “Befriending” Mary Berry and her son Paul Hollytree in the bar between bakes has certainly paid off. Clumsy alcoholic Jack can’t cook for toffee but he’s the life and soul of a party, especially when it’s the BBC that’s paying for it.

Thanks Nelly Ryde (Jack’s manager, baking inspiration and shelf-stacker in 99p Land)

(Above) Paul awaits his BFF Jack in the Bake-Off bar