Dear all. I bet you’re enjoying The Great British Bake Off as much as me and all because my cousin Jack-A-GooGoo is doing wonders. He must be a dead cert for the final. Yesterday Jack was voted baker of the week for his Savoury Pastie (which he’d cleverly bought earlier from Greggs). By causing a distraction in the tent (he’s a trained arsonist) Jack was able to produce his pastry without anyone noticing he hadn’t so much as rolled out any pastry or turned his oven on! Mary Berry and her son Paul Bollywood even said it was the best pastie they’d ever tasted. So congratulations to Jack, Greggs and the local fire brigade.

Thanks Nelly Ryde (Jack’s manager, baking inspiration and shelf-stacker in 99p Land)

(Above) Jack’s lovingly presented pasty, the bake of the week as chosen by Mary Berry and her hungry son Paul