Dear all. Apologies to all those who tuned into the The Voice last Saturday to watch my cousin Jack a Googoo sing his way to win the appalling singing show. Unfortunately due to a fracas just before Jack was due on stage meant that poor Jack was ejected from the studios. Jack is accused of punching a producer, something that happens a lot at the BBC I hear, and is now banned from their reality shows. I’m thinking of starting a petition to get the awful show off the BBC, it’s a waste of tax payers money, in the meantime don’t watch it! But not to worry as every storm cloud has a silver lining; Jack has recently taken up acting and is starting to make his name as an extra. He’s already filmed a few scenes for TV; this coming Sunday he is some Russian bloke in War & Peace and in February he’ll be seen playing a violent drunk on Casualty. The director told me he was a natural. I didn’t have the heart to tell him Jack was actually p****d during filming. I believe they call it method acting. They didn’t even have to use pretend vomit because Jack was so good. And don’t despair, although talented Jack is embarking on a new career he is still available for bookings to sing Kajagoogoo songs at political demos, childrens’ parties, wakes, shop openings, etc. So give me a ring to book him before he’s whisked off to Hollywood.

Thanks Nelly Ryde (Jack’s manager, survival trainer and shelf-stacker in 99p Land)

(Above, circled in red) Jack-A-Googoo pictured with the happy cast of War & Peace