Hello my flock. Just to remind you that tonight I am launching yoga classes in the church for the over 18s. I have done a few days training with a Church of England Yogi (a yoga teacher) from the mystical east, Norwich, and am now fully qualified to teach Anglican positions. So come along and sample a few key moves such as Climbing The Mount Of Olives, Picking Fruit With Adam & Eve, Clambering Aboard The Ark and then Dowsing The Burning Bush. For more advanced movers I’ll teach The Upward Star and The Downward Parting Of The Waves, the Loaves & Fishes aka The Feeding Of The 5000 and The Father, Son & Holy Ghost Salutations. Then we’ll wind down and breathe easy with the Three Wisemen, a Water Into Wine and finish off with a Comfy Crucifixion and an Amen. See you at 7 for our first class, and please wear appropriate attire, bring a yoga mat and a large bottle of water.

May your God be with you, Cyril Knutsford. Vicar. Beckworth St Faiths

(Above) The vicar of St Faith’s readying himself for teaching C of E yoga classes