Dear all. I just want to congratulate my cousin Jack-A-GooGoo for his inventive baking on The Great British Bake Off last night. Jack could so easily have been kicked off the show as his bread making was crap. But Jack used his “loaf” and added a “sweetener” to his showstopper, so Mary Berry and her son Paul Hollybush voted someone else off instead. Well done to Jack and to the Berry family for seeing sense.

Thanks Nelly Ryde (Jack’s manager, baking inspiration and shelf-stacker in 99p Land)

(Above) A “tickled” Mary Berry and moody son Paul admire Jack’s slightly-overdone “show-stopping” bun