Hello my flock. What a busy week i’m having, but as they say there’s no rest for the wicked! Today Church Warden Noddy Holder and I are hoovering up the mountains of ash from yesterday’s service and then decorating the vestry with dead birds in readiness of tomorrow’s Feast of St Norris. We will be holding a memorial service at 11ish, and all religious denominations are welcome as St Norris is venerated by many faiths. Please remember to wear a feather in your hat to celebrate his kind deeds to birds and his invention of the carrier pigeon back in the 15th century. In his honour, after the service, we will heed the words of the pox-riddled Pope Jeremy XI (who canonised Norris as the Patron Saint of Pigeons and Guinea Fowl) who declared that on 12th February “we should cast aside carnal thoughts by wearing feathers atop our sinful bodies and by clearing up bird sh*t. With our hands” So see you tomorrow morning sporting your finest plumage. God Bless You and Norris. Cyril Knutsford, Vicar, Beckworth St Faiths

(Above) A local resident pictured in her finest feathered “fascinator” on the way to the St Norris Day service at the church last year