Hello Beckworth, or should that be “Howdy Partners”, I hope this message finds you well. I thought it best that I reminded you that this coming weekend we will be celebrating today’s US independence day. Thanks to sponsorship by Dunkin Donuts and The Trump Fellowship Of High-Earners we will be hosting a parade, followed by a rodeo on the Sainsco car park. We are expecting many visiting rodeoers and marching bands from the USA so please expect delays if you’re hoping to do your shopping on Saturday (and use buses as all parking in the town will be suspended). The parade will start at the library (at 11am) and is due to be opened and then led by President Trump’s very distant cousin Reg Trump, ex-local window cleaner and best friend of the betting office. Reg, if he’s sober, will try to lead our very own Beckworth cheerleading troupe and the scouts brass band through the packed streets of the town…

See you Saturday, Thanking you most warmly.

Aashif Ackworth. Mayor. Beckworth Town Council