Good morning Beckworth. I’m sorry to impart bad news, especially as it falls on the day of Strictly, but I have to inform all residents that I have taken Police advice and banned trick or treating once again… It is the only way of keeping Beckworth safe this Halloween and comes after yet another year on year increases of muggings by under 10s. The town’s ageing population already live in fear of clowns and now worry that Halloween night has been highjacked by far-right yummy-mummys and by Satan worshipping youth clubs. I hope the ban won’t effect your enjoyment of all-hallows eve. Thanking you most warmly. Aashif Ackworth. New Mayor

(Above) Terrifying scenes like this will banned this Halloween