Amazing Euro Election rumour just in… News is circulating that the latest Beckworth exit poles are showing that local singing legend and Eurovision last-placer Michael “Mickey” Rice-Pudding is likely to become our next MEP. The most amazing bit is that Mickey didn’t know he was even standing as a candidate. I texted him to ask how he thinks he got onto the ballot paper and he can only think his Mum accidentally sent his Eurovision application form (along with his now-missing driving licence) to whoever runs Euro elections. I could see its an easy mistake to make, and believe Mr Rice-Pudding would be great as an MEP. Especially if he, along with all the other MEPs, doesn’t have to go to Brussels at all and will be paid vast sums of tax payers money to do precisely nothing. Except perhaps go back to busking. I’m told that the Brexit party languishes far behind Mickey in second place and no one is admitting to vote for the tories, Lib Dems or the communists (Labour). Good luck Mr Rice-Puddin, this country needs you. Christine Batley. Deputy Chief Eurot Election Correspondent. Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette