Well I never, we’ve still got an ongoing situation concerning Fern Britton‘s escaped lamas, because “The Jackson Three” are still at large!! You may remember earlier this week I asked everyone to keep a look out for the 3 lama’s and I have been deluged with many sightings of them. You have spotted them all over Beckworth, from grazing outside the mosque to defecating near the car wash and we’ve even had unconfirmed sightings in the butchers and phone shop. I must once again state, in the interests of safety and hygiene, that Mrs Britton has warned that under no circumstances should the lamas be approached as they can be life threatening. So far the wily threesome have evaded capture but Fern’s own lama-cowgirl Doris Palmer has now set up a trap outside the opticians using the beasts’ favourite bananas as bait. If you see this trap please do not tamper with it as I’m told it could have your leg off. Doris has told me they can’t resist bananas and assures me this means the lamas will soon be captured and back home at Fern’s farm in time to watch Hollyoaks. Thanks for your time and enjoy the lama hunting, Christine Batley. Chief Crime Reporter at The Beckworth Guardian and neighbourhood watch coordinator