Hello Beckworth. This is your glorious leader speaking. I wanted to take this opportunity to wish almost all of you a wonderful Christmas, and to ask for you to be vigilant. Yesterday some mindless vandals vandalised my precious 2 year old BMW, removing something called a Calorific Converter, rendering the car immobile. They also left white dog poo on my gravel driveway. MAY THEY ROT THIS FESTIVE SEASON!!!! If you witnessed either event please inform the Police, we need this scum off the streets NOW. Also if you have a posh car I can borrow until mine is fixed I would be very grateful. It would need delivering to my home asap with a full tank of petrol and travel sweets in the glove-box. Thanking you most warmly, Merry Christmas. Aashif Ackworth. New Mayor.