HRH news just in… Prince Harold and his wife (who’s name escapes me) have been spotted looking in Beckworth estate agents windows searching for a 3 bed semi. The couple and their two children have been given a month’s notice to vacate their run-down drafty cottage by disgruntled landlord, King Charles (the monarch, not a spaniel)…  I’ll keep you posted, but hopefully we’ll have Royals living amongst us soon, Christine Batley. Deputy Chief disgraced Correspondent. Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette

(Above) The prince trying to flog his memoir, which incorporates tips on looking “hard”
called Stare