Priceless Pickled Onions Stolen

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Hello. I am hoping you can help because Beckworth has this weekend suffered a tragic loss. Our renowned pickled onion collection, (pictured above) has had some of it’s rarest and pricless unique exhibits stolen. The onions, some dating back to the Norman conquest and valued at over £3.5 million, are usually on display in The Hayward’s Gallery at the Town Hall. Many prize examples were taken, and are probably already being eaten on the black market. We believe the theft occurred sometime between August 2012 and Monday morning just gone, but can’t be more specific as we seldom look at the items on view. The theft was only noted when pickle fan, and local celeb, Benedict Cumberbatch asked for his entrance fee back as most exhibits were missing. The jars of onions are irreplaceable and trace the evolution of pickling through history, the rarest probably being the Henry VIII’s pickles made during a time when only Royalty were allowed to make pickles and relishes. We are desperate to get the collection back, so if you have any information about the theft or where to buy some more please contact me directly, as the Police don’t seem interested. Stella Corby, The Hayward’s Gallery