Old Beckworthian’s Easter Bike Race Today

I trust you all have had a wonderous Easter and are in truly good spirits, if so please join the anticipated throngs of spectators at Beckworth School’s 17th century velodrome this afternoon… For today it is the annual cycle race meeting of the institution’s alumni. The usual highlight of the afternoon, The Class of 1942′s “Penny Father’s competition”, has been cancelled as there are no living survivors of the class, but in it’s place we have a new nail-biting contest. The Class of 1952′s “Penny Father’s competition”. We are expecting about a dozen old boys and masters to ride their vintage high-wheeler Penny Farthing bikes, all aiming to win the inaugral Rt Hon Alvin “Toffee Smuggler” Lewes Cup. Don’t forget this school holiday there are track days at the velodrome for all of the school’s alumni, so come on down. Yours Sir T.T. “Wonky” Windsor. President. Beckworth School Old Boys

Old Beckworthian’s Easter Bike Race

I hope you all enjoyed today’s annual cycle race meeting of Beckworth School’s alumni at the institution’s 17th century velodrome. As usual the highlight of the afternoon was The Class of 1942′s “Penny Father’s competition” and it was a nail-biting contest from start to finish despite there now only being three veterans well enough to ride their vintage high-wheeler Penny Farthing bikes. It ended with a plate-glass photo finish and a steward’s enquiry which gave the podium position to 11 times winner Rt Hon Alvin “Toffee Smuggler” Lewes MP. Don’t forget this school holiday there are track days at the velodrome for all of the school’s alumni, so come on down. Yours Sir T.T. “Wonky” Windsor. President. Beckworth School Old Boys

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(Above) Octogenarian penny farthing cycle racer Rt Hon Alvin Lewes MP being cheered on by ecstatic crowds earlier today

Ex-Beckworth SchoolBoy Wins Chinese Nobel Peace Prize

Good afternoon, Wonky Windsor here with some splendid information for you. During his recent UK holiday, to stay with his best friend David Cameron, the King Of China Xi Jinping forgot to announce the winner of his country’s “Nobel” peace prize. But he’s just remembered and faxed the 2015 results through to my home. Imagine my delight that fellow ex-Beckworth School pupil (and in his day head boy) Robert “Bobby The Bobster” Mugabe was the well deserved winner. Mr Bobster, always humble in victory, is said to be delighted and is quoted on the fax as saying “This is one in the eye for all my imprisoned critics. Now if anyone says i’m not peaceful, I have proof that I am. And I will have them shot. Immediately”. The magnanimous Mr Bobby Mugabe is the latest in a long line of noble China peace prize winners and he follows in the graceful footsteps of such luminaries as Vladimir Putin, Fidel Castro, Joseph Stalin, Manuel Noriega, Attila The Hun, and Margaret “Maggie” Thatcher. Congratulations to Robert and to the Mugabe family who still own a butchers shop on the outskirts of town. Yours Sir T.T. “Wonky” Windsor. President. Beckworth School Old Boys

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(Above) A clearly delighted Bobby Mugabe clutches his well deserved plastic Chinese peace prize earlier today

Old Beckworthian’s Easter Bike Race

I hope you all enjoyed today’s annual cycle race meeting of Beckworth School’s alumni at the institution’s 17th century velodrome. The highlight of the afternoon was surely The Class of 1942′s “Penny Father’s competition.” It was a nail-biting contest from false start to finish as the field of forty-two battled it out on their vintage high-wheelers. It ended with a plate-glass photo finish and a steward’s enquiry gave the podium position to 9 times winner Rt Hon Alvin “Toffee Smuggler” Lewes MP. Special mention must also go to Roryford “Toad” Hull who set a new lap record at the track with a time of 5 minutes 32 seconds before a puncture put him out off the track. Don’t forget the school hold’s weekly track days for all of the school’s alumni so see you there soon. Yours Sir T.T. “Wonky” Windsor. President. Beckworth School Old BoysBeckworth_PennyFarthings2

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