Valentines Offers To Warm Your Sweetheart’s Heart

It’s valentines sale day today at your favourite “everything under a pound” superstore. Yes many romantic items are on offer at 99p Land, so it’s the best place to buy all your last minute romantic gifts and pretend you’ve not forgotten. We’ve many discounted lines, marked with a pink cross, so get along to 99p Land before we close at 10pm. Many damaged items at an unbelievable 10% off. Yes, that’s a fabulous 10% off a few old sale items, that are sure to bring happiness to your lover’s desires… Why not buy a dozen slightly wilting red roses, out of date boxes of chocolates, men’s “pre-loved” posing pouches or flavoured condoms from China. We’re open now so get along now to get that romantic item. Bim Gujranwala. Manager. 99p Land

It’s Pink Cross Day Tomorrow

It’s valentines sale day tomorrow down at 99p Land, so it’s the best place to buy all your romantic gifts. We’ve many discounted lines, marked with a pink cross, so get along to 99p first thing. We’ve many damaged items at an unbelievable 10% off. Yes, that’s a fabulous 10% off a few old sale items, we’ve got just what your lover desires… Baby-wipes, torches and part-used batteries, cigarettes, broken biscuits, some folding chairs, condoms from China, One Direction napkins and hair dye. We’re open 8 till 8 so there’s plenty of time to get that romantic item. Bim Gujranwala. Manager. 99p Land

Not To Be Missed Black Friday Deals At 99p Land Today Only

In celebration of the day after Thanks Be Giving day (known as the Black Friday) your favourite discount store 99p Land is going totally crazy with prices today. For one day we’re having “black cross Black Friday” sale. Some sale items, marked with a black cross, are just three for £2.99 and lots of out-of-date items are reduced to the crazy price of 98p. Yes, just 98p for those essential everyday items (sold in “damaged and opened packets”) that you’ve waited all year to purchase. Everyday essentials such as plastic roof tiles, electric tooth picks, clay pipes, industrial strength egg-free custard powder, surgical trusses and non-bouncy bouncy castles. We’re open until 11pm but don’t wait to grab a crazy bargain, come on down immediately. Now. Otherwise we may sell out of your heart desires very quickly and you leave shop with only disappointment in your basket. Bim Gujranwala. Manager. 99p Land

Best Ever Boxing Day Sale

In celebration of the Christian day of boxes your favourite discount store 99p Land will be going totally crazy and open extra early, at 3am tomorrow, for a one day “box” sale. Many sale items, marked with a wooden cross, will be two for £1.99 and lots more will be reduced to just 97p. Yes, just 97p for those essential everyday items in “damaged boxes” that you’ve waited all year to purchase… Everyday essentials such as hair nets, surgical stockings, Turkish cigarettes, face packs, out of date biscuits and dented pingpong balls. We’re open until 8 (closed for an hour at breakfast and lunchtime), so come on down immediately early tomorrow. But be warned: bargain hunters with an eye for a bargains had better come early as due to reduced stock we may sell out very quickly. Happy Damaged Box Day. Bim Gujranwala. Manager. 99p Land

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(Above) Wooden crosses will denote all discounted sale items

One Day Sale At 99p Land

Today your oldest and favourite discount store 99p Land havs gone totally crazy and lowered the prices on some items to just 97p. Yes, just 97p on some essential everyday items that you use everyday (offer excludes pretend cigarettes, dog leads, VHS videos, and monkey nuts). We’re open 8 till 8 (closed for an hour at lunchtime). So come on down immediately. Bim Gujranwala. Manager. 99p Land

Our Offers Are On Fire

Tomorrow is the Guy Fawke’s bonfire day and in celebration of Mr Guy blowing up a house near parliament we are having a one day Bonfire sale. At 99p Land there’s 10% off a few old sale items marked with a white flaming cross, so come fill your boots and spend spend spend. The first 10 customers through the door will be getting a 99p voucher to spend as they wish on the day (offer excludes cigarette lighters, razer blades, pocket knifes, parafin, alcopops, nipple-clamps and frozen fish). We’re open 8 till 8 (closed for an hour at lunchtime) so get a flaming move-on. Bim Gujranwala. Manager. 99p Land

It’s Kings Cross Sale Day Today

It’s royal baby celebration day today down at 99p Land and we’re wetting the baby’s head by having a “Kings Cross” sale to celebrate. Pop-in to 99p Land to congratulate Sir Wills and Kate on the birth of the baby King by buying all your party stuff at 10% off. Yes, that’s a fabulous 10% off a few old sale items marked with a red cross (offer excludes nappies, baby-wipes, alcohol, cigarettes, biscuits, picnic blankets, condoms, cardigans and apples). We’re open 8 till 8 so there’s plenty of time to get those baby party essentials. Bim Gujranwala. Manager. 99p Land

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(Above) A cake in the shape of a red cross to celebrate 99p Lands’ “Kings Cross” Day

Beckworth Star Spot: Neil Young

I’ve just served long-haired OAP Neil Young in my store. He was very shy, not like you’d imagine a rocker to be, and bought some veggie sausages, half a dozen alcopops and a disposable barbecue. He said he was going to celebrate Canada Day. To be honest i’d never heard of him or his special day, but my nephew showed me a picture of Mr Young on his posh phone, which the man said was indeed him. He kindly autographed a dented tin of peas I was pricing at the time which are now on display in the shop window (though i’ll probably sell them on ebay). Thanks Neil. Bim. Manager. 99p Land

Peas

(Above) Neil Young’s tin of peas

It’s Green Cross Day Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the longest day in a very long time and down at 99p Land we’re having a Green Cross sale to celebrate. Pop-in to 99p Land for all your mid-summer needs as there’s 10% off a few old sale items marked with a green cross. And in honour of this one day mid-summer sale we’ve got local celebrity Paris Hilton opening the shop with the first 10 customers through the door getting a 99p voucher to spend as they wish on the day (offer excludes cigarettes, folding-chairs, alcohol, picnic hampers, condoms, sunblock and carrots). We’re open 8 till 8 (closed for an hour at lunchtime) so it’s going to be a very long day indeed. Bim Gujranwala. Manager. 99p Land

GreenCross

It’s Coronation Madness At 99p Land

Yes, we’ve gone Coronation mad and for one day only (tomorrow) we are turning back our clock to the year our beloved Queen was coronated, 1973. So everything will be priced as if we were a 99p shop back then. Yes, that’s right, we must be barking beacuse everything in store will be just 99p* And on top of that, the staff will be getting into a right old spirit and wearing large sideburns, afros and flared trousers; and the men will also be wearing appropriate outfits from the Coronation. So come to the store for baragins galore. Please note that as a mark of respect to the Coronation we will be closed tomorrow from midday. Bim Gujranwala. Manager. 99p Land

* Offer excludes anything that is priced higher than 99p and alcohol