International Women’s Day Tomorrow

Hello sisters, please join us on the morrow for International Women’s Day. Down the tools of oppression, free yourselves from the yoke of forced labour, and come together to empower all womanhood against the tyranny of penis-waving power mongers. At midday tomorrow join us online as we set off on a virtual march to the online scout hut where, at around 1pm, we will hear encouraging speeches from many prominent international female guest speakers. We’ve even got some strong women’s voices from overseas, hopefully including Oprah Winfrey‘s (real) sister Winny and our hypothetical sister formally known as Jordan, Kate Winslett. It’s down to us to make this a powerful women-only event not to be missed, so log on early. Yours Sylvie Stoke. Chair Lady. Beckworth WI

Cake Sale For Prince George

Hello. Just to say that in celebration of the boy king, George, turning one today we are holding a cake sale in the scout hut today from 1pm. All proceeds will go towards creating a living effigy of our future monarch. Last year we planted a bush outside WHJones (near the bus stop) and with the money raised today we will pay amateur topiary expert Alan Titmarsh to trim the bush into the shape of George (which will make a nice change for Alan as he mostly creates phallic shapes). Yours, Trinny Poole-Harbour, Women’s Institute


(Above) Paparrazzi grab a picture of a baby crawling earlier today, which may or may not be one year old HRH George as babies all look alike to me