Category Archives: Marion Leyton

Korean Weight Loss. It’s All The Rage… Or Should Be

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Hellody Hoo, your favourite health guru Marion here. Great news for all you fatties out there, because of the success a couple of years back of my Weight Whistling classes, I’m running evening classes once again. The lapse of my restraint order means that Beckworth residents once again benefit from me bringing the ancient Korean act of Weight Whistling to the UK. You too could possibly lose 10 stone in a few weeks? Yes, it’s probably achievable due to the unique way that weight whistling works! So why not come along and try it (if you can get out of the house without needing a crane or having walls removed… Classes will be most Monday nights in the scout hut at 8 but only genuine, determined tubsters need apply. So how does it work I hear you ask? Well it’s actually a closely guarded secret, but put lets say it’s a sweaty workout without music. The participants whistle communist tunes whilst they exercise. You may have read in my twitter posts that I trained under the great teacher Gin Bin Bawl, a mauve belt in Weight Whistling, who until his mysterious death a few years ago was the dietician and keep fit instructor of choice for the glorious leader Kim Jon-un and his very closest mates. I’ve got all the certificates to prove I know what i’m doing, now all I need is another group of big boned oldies to practice on. So get your lard a**es down to the scout hut next Monday night and let’s shed those unsightly pounds. Ta ta, Marion

PS It’s just £43.25 a class

Beckworth_Weight Whistling

Join Us And Loose Pounds

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Hellody Hoo, Marion here. After decades caring for the welfare of animals I am now turning my attention to the two legged residents of Beckworth. I worked for many years in the local abattoir, until I was dismissed, but I’ve recently retrained as a human dietrician and personal trainer, and this month will be bringing the ancient Korean act of Weight Whistling to the UK. So do you want lose 10 stone in just three weeks? Well now it’s possible due to the unique way that weight whistling works! But don’t take my word for it, come along and try it… Classes will be every Monday night in the scout hut at 8 but only genuine, determined tubsters need apply. So how does it work I hear you ask? Well it’s a closely guarded secret, but put simply it’s a workout without music. The participants whistle communist tunes whilst they exercise. I trained under the great teacher Gin Bin Bawl, a mauve belt in Weight Whistling, who until his mysterious death last year was the dietician and keep fit instructor of choice for the glorious leader Kim Jon-un and his very closest allies. So i’ve got all the qualifications, now all I need is a group of fatties to practice on. So get your lazy fat a**e down to the scout hut next Monday night and let’s shed those unsightly pounds. Ta ta, Marion

PS It’s just £36 a class

Beckworth_Weight Whistling

(Above) Kim JonUn keeping trim with a strenuous Weight Whistling work-out

Star Spot: The Bloke Off Countryfile

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Hellody Hoo, Marion here. I’ve just seen that fella John from Countryfile being filmed chatting to some cows in a field. I asked the farmer what was going on and he told me he think’s they are doing a sequel to the film Being John Malkovitch. He reckons’s it’ll be called Being John Craven. The scenes I saw him doing looked very good, so i can’t wait to see the finished film. Ta ta, Marion

Beckworth_John Craven

(Above) John Craven chatting to a cow earlier today

Beckworth Aussie Star Spot Two: The Minogues

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Hellody Hoo, Marion here. Beckworth must be overrun with small female Australian entertainers today because I’ve just seen not one, but two!!! I spotted the diminutive Minogue sisters, Daniiii and Kylie, in school uniforms outside Beckworth High squabbling over a bag of chips. For two stars of television their language was very course. Ta ta, Marion

Marion Is Here

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Hellody Hoo, Marion here. These are some recordings from an interview I did a while ago with an odd man who called himself a doctor. He was a bit tipsy and asked me some very strange questions, then tried to borrow money from me for “his project”. I’ve often wondered became of him, but in his absence the tourist board have asked me to put the recordings on this website, so that’s what I’m doing. I hope they boost tourism, though I can’t imagine why they would. Ta ta M.