It’s Time To Buy The Burial Plot You’ve Always Promised Yourself

Hi all. Today, Beckworth Cemetery will be flinging open it’s newly painted orange gates for our annual Cemetery Open Day. A fun day out for lots of the family, with things to excite even the most cynical member, but especially those looking death in the face or wanting their dear parents to drop off soon so they can nab the inheritance and build that extension with hot-tub and plasma screen tv. We’ll be showing off our almost finished drive thru crematorium, where you can hitch a ride on a converted coffin-carrying golf-buggy and see the yet to be fired up furnaces…. We’ve a “bouncy castle” made up of a heap of old recycled tyres and cushions, non-violent Punch & Judy (now that Derek Shipston is out of prison) and the famed Follyfoot Farm Mobile Petting zoo (including rides on Garry the frisky Llama) for the kids. Come along and have a go at our famed spot the dead celebrity headstone competition, with prizes for young and old (Star-prize 5% off a faux marble headstone in the shape of a Greek urn). We’ve got burial plots of all shapes, depths and sizes to try out in readiness of your longed for “big day,” plus we’ve a few pre-loved carved headstones on display, so everyone can choose the grave they’ve always dreamt of. We also hope to have a cake stall, a band and a cider and cheese tent for the over 18s. Amazingly we’re offering 8% off all grave-digging booked on the day, so don’t be shy, come on by and try before you die. See you there, Dave “David’ Monmouth, Senior Cemetery & Cremations Manager

It’s Time To Buy The Grave You’ve Always Promised Yourself

Hi all. Next Saturday, the 13th May, Beckworth Cemetery will once again fling open it’s rusting gates for our annual Cemetery Open Day. It is bound to be a fun day out for lots of the family, with much to excite every generation, especially those closer to death. There’s a “bouncy castle” made of old mattresses, non-violent Punch & Judy (if Derek Shipston gets out of prison in time) and the famed Follyfoot Farm Mobile Petting zoo (including rides on Tina the donkey) for the kids. Come along and have a go at our spot the dead celebrity grave competition, with prizes for young and old (Star-prize 10% off a fake marble headstone). We’ve got burial plots of all shapes, depths and sizes to try out in readiness of your longed for “big day,” plus we’ve a few pre-loved carved headstones on display, so everyone can choose the grave they’ve always dreamt of. We also hope to have a cake stall, a band and a cider and cheese tent for the over 18s. Amazingly we’re offering 11% off all grave-digging booked on the day, so don’t be shy, look death in the eye and come on by. See you there, Dave “David’ Monmouth, Cemetery Manager

Be Brave, It’s Time To Save On A Grave

Hi all. Next Saturday, Beckworth Cemetery flings open it’s imposing gates for our annual Cemetery Open Day. Guaranteed to be a fun day out for all the family, with much to enthrall and delight every generation, especially those closer to death. There’s a “bouncy castle” made of old car tyres, Punch & Judy and the Follyfoot Farm Mobile Petting zoo (including rides on Roger the donkey) for the kids. We’ve got burial plots of all shapes and sizes to try out in readiness of “the big day” and headstones on display so everyone can choose what they’d like when they’re gone… We also hope to have a cake stall, a band and a beer tent for the over 18s. Amazingly we’re offering 15% off all grave-digging booked during the day, so don’t be shy, look death in the eye and come on by. See you there, Dave “David’ Monmouth, Cemetery Manager

Beckworth-Cemetery

(Above) The welcoming sight of Beckworth Cemetery earlier today

Save On A Grave

Hi all. Tomorrow, Saturday, Beckworth Cemetery flings open it’s imposing gates for our annual Cemetery Open Day. Guaranteed to be a fun day out for all the family, with much to enthrall and delight every generation, including our spot the dead celebrity grave competition with prizes for young and old (Star-prize 30% off a headstone). There’s a bouncy castle, Punch & Judy and the Follyfoot Farm Mobile Petting zoo (including rides on Scampi the donkey) for the kids, burial plots to try out for size for Grandma and Granddad and a cake stall and beer tent for mum and dad. Amazingly we’re offering 20% off all funerals bought tomorrow, so don’t be shy, look death in the eye and come on by. And best of all it’s free (apart from the cakes and alcohol)! See you there, Dave “David’ Monmouth, Cemetery Manager