Hello. I’m sorry to bother you but I need you the towns folk to be particularly vigilant as mayhem and lawlessness have broken out at the allotments. At first it was just the odd watering-can or shed that was taken without permission but now we have had the police do a search of the entire site due to nefarious growths being found. And i’m not talking about the allotments being overrun by giant radishes like last year. No, this year a few anarchic n’erdowells have been openly growing drugs in amongst the organic veg. So far marajoanna, magic mushrooms, cocaine and nurofen have been found and confiscated. So please let’s stamp out this drug terror before it takes over. Thanking you. Clifford Pinner. Chairperson. Beckworth Allotment Committee
(Above) Some of the magic mushroom drugs found by Police earlier today