Support Local Businesses This Black Friday

Hello all. I just wanted to share the offers some of Beckworth’s forward-thinking local traders are offering today in celebration of Black Friday… I’m told that Abdul’s The Chemist are offering a saving of 10% on all flavoured condoms and novelty mouthwash purchased alongside any NHS prescription… Knossos Kebabs have a 50p reduction on all kebabs if customers use the code KRAP19… Anglican Windows are offering a free door with any 30 plastic windows paid in full today… There’s half-price entry to the Banana Museum… The Lesbian And Gay And Bi-Sexual Society will be having cocktails and fannytails in the scout hut tonight (not sure if this to do with Black Friday or not?)…. Beckworth Police have a sale on their very popular “pre-loved” truncheons and handcuffs… The scouts are offering half-price “bob-a-job” when they get back home from school… The Blind Badger pub will be opening until 1am with discounts on out-of-date bar snacks… Master Gregs The Grocers are giving “a cuddle from Greg Wallace” away with every 2kg of carrots… and Fawkes Funerals have 10% off all 2nd hand coffins if ordered before 4pm today… So you’ve lots of reasons to shop locally today and support Beckworth High Street… Yours sincerely, Valerie Saddleworth CBE. Chairlady. The Beckworth Guild of Trade & Commerce

We Need Your Banana Stories

Good afternoon. Beckworth’s Famous Banana Museum will be 150 years old next March and we are planning to celebrate with an exhibition (to be opened by three-times-a-day banana fan Sir Alex Ferguson) featuring working-class people’s banana anecdotes. They can be happy, sad, harrowing, deeply-distressing, or even tragic experiences, as long as they are probably true and happened to you (or someone you vaguely know). Maybe you were on the Titanic eating a banana when it sank, survived a plane crash by living off bananas for 18 long months (like Robinson Crusoe famously did in that novel Huckleberry Finn) or perhaps attended a funeral dressed in a banana costume. If you have a life changing disfigurement involving our beloved bent yellow fruit then please let us know and you could be featured in the exhibition. Anyone who does will get a day’s free bananas! So we look forward to seeing your narratives. Thanks Den Hawkchurch. Archivist. Beckworth Banana Museum


(Above) Banana’s similar to the one’s on show at the Banana Museum
(Size and quantity may vary)