Support Local Businesses This Black Friday

Hello all. I just wanted to share the offers some of Beckworth’s forward-thinking local traders are offering today in celebration of Black Friday… I’m told that Abdul’s The Chemist are offering a saving of 10% on all flavoured condoms and novelty mouthwash purchased alongside any NHS prescription… Knossos Kebabs have a 50p reduction on all kebabs if customers use the code KRAP19… Anglican Windows are offering a free door with any 30 plastic windows paid in full today… There’s half-price entry to the Banana Museum… The Lesbian And Gay And Bi-Sexual Society will be having cocktails and fannytails in the scout hut tonight (not sure if this to do with Black Friday or not?)…. Beckworth Police have a sale on their very popular “pre-loved” truncheons and handcuffs… The scouts are offering half-price “bob-a-job” when they get back home from school… The Blind Badger pub will be opening until 1am with discounts on out-of-date bar snacks… Master Gregs The Grocers are giving “a cuddle from Greg Wallace” away with every 2kg of carrots… and Fawkes Funerals have 10% off all 2nd hand coffins if ordered before 4pm today… So you’ve lots of reasons to shop locally today and support Beckworth High Street… Yours sincerely, Valerie Saddleworth CBE. Chairlady. The Beckworth Guild of Trade & Commerce

Celebrate Magna Carta With The Under-Fives & A Beer

This is a message to all of you who like to get drunk whilst viewing great historical articles… And after waiting weeks for one alcoholic celebration to come along, we actually have two at once. For today we will be raising a glass or five to honour the Magna Carta, which was first printed locally 800 years (by Ye Pronto Printe) and is now on view at our local nursery school on the “projects desk”. And secondly we’re supporting today’s International Beer Day. To mark both occasions your friendliest ale house will be hosting a day long beer tasting within a marquee in the kindergarten school yard. Cindy Carmarthen, Bar Manager, The Blind Badger Pub & Venue

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(Above) A pocket-sized copy of the Magna Carta, currently on loan from the British Library to Beckworth Nursery School’s Show & Tell

International Twerking Finals

This is a message to remind you all that this friday night The Blind Badger will be hosting the 3rd Annual International Twerking Finals in our back room. Seventeen of the World’s finest twerkers will be descending on Beckworth in the hope of winning a trophy and £500 prize money. Last year’s winner Vera Cyrus-Jones (Mylie Cyrus‘s English cousin) will be head judge alongside Strictly Come Dancing’s “Mr Seven” Len Goodman and local celeb and handyman Les Dennis. A rivetting evening is assured and after the finals Gareth Gates’ Mobile Disco will be rocking the room. It’s only a tenner on the door and this week’s featured ale at the pub is Liquid Night-Rogen. Warning: If you don’t like people wearing flesh-coloured bikinis, showing off their bottoms or grabbing their genitals, then please stay at home! Cindy Carmarthen, Bar Manager, The Blind Badger Pub & Venue

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(Above) The International Twerking Trophy, won last year by Mylie Cyrus’s Cousin Vera

Thank God For The Faith Tones

This is a message to all of you who have tickets for the secret Arctic Monkeys‘ Glastonbury warm-up gig tonight. Unfortunately the band have had to pull out at the last moment due to ill health (hangovers) but I am very pleased to say that local folk trio, and ”friends of Jesus”, The Faith Tones, have stepped into the breach. The popular Godbotherers have promised to play tracks from their fab new LP Jesus Use Me, as well as from their previous LPs Jesus We’ve Been Waiting A Long Time and Jesus It’s Really Cold Outside. The all-lady threesome will be rocking our back room venue from 8.30 and Arctic Monkeys tickets are valid. So if you like bopping to Godfearing lady singers whilst drinking real ale (this week’s featured ale is Demon’s Dung) tonight is for you. And don’t worry if you don’t already have an Arctic Monkeys ticket as we’ve got plenty on the door. See you tonight. Cindy Carmarthen, Bar Manager, The Blind Badger Pub & Venue

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Putting God’s Words Into Randy’s Mouth

Uncle Les Small

This is a message to all of you who like your music religious, your singers to be made of wood and your ale real. Tomorrow night local “friends of Jesus” and amateur ventriloquists, Uncle Len & Aunt Nancy Wheely, will be rocking our back room venue. Along with their sexually-deviant “son” Randy they will sing all of their God-fearing cover versions including Stairway To Heaven, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath and Robbie William’s Angels. They’re guaranteed to bring joy to our hearts and fill the bar with Godliness, or so their agent has told me. They will also be signing copies of their thought-provoking debut album Do You Know Jesus?, which will be onsale after the show, along with t-shirts, mouse-mats and “Randy” keyfobs. It’s only a fiver on the door and this week’s featured ale at the pub is Beelzebub’s Bathwater. Warning: If you don’t like people singing about Jesus, or ventriloquists, then stay at home! Cindy Carmarthen, Bar Manager, The Blind Badger Pub & Venue

A Loud Shout Out To All Headbangers

This is a message to all of you who like your music heavy and your ale real. Tomorrow night local heavy metal covers band, Bachman Turner Overdraft, will be rocking our back room venue. It’s only a fiver on the door and this week’s featured ale at the pub is Itchy Scrotum. Warning: If you’re coming to play dominoes in the bar bring your ear plugs! Cindy Carmarthen, Bar Manager, The Blind Badger Pub & Venue

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