St Georges Day Parade

Hello Beckworth. May I wish my residents a happy St Georges Day, a time for us all to celebrate the patron Saint of Great Britain and reflect on what it means to be British, no matter of your creed, colour or choice of football team. A time to come together, wave flags and cheer at a small parade as it makes its way quickly through the crowded streets of Beckworth, led by the Scouts and Brownies marching band, followed by some floats and a full-scale paper-mache knight attacking a giant dragon. The latter, which is cleverly mounted on a bike, was made by local school children a few years ago as a topical allegory in remembrance of both World Wars (or so I’m told. It made little sense to me when I first saw it. It doesn’t even look like a dragon, more like a big cat). After the parade has ended there will be a historical re-enactment on the sports field of George killing the dragon and a cream tea will be on sale. We had hoped for a flypast of drones but permission was not granted by the aviation authority. To make it a day out for the whole family pre-school children can have St George flag face painting. Thanking you most warmly. Aashif Ackworth. Mayor

Egg-Citing Easter Services

Good afternoon my flock. I am so sorry to have missed all the Easter events thus far, due to overdoing the sauce on Maundy Monday and being laid up all week (hangovers truly are the devil’s work)… But I am now feeling egg-ceptionally well refreshed now and ready to take the reins of this evening’s fancy dress Easter Bunny family service… And the egg-cellent news keeps coming as our cancelled annual multi-faith Good Friday Easter egg hunt will now take place tomorrow at 2pm so please bring lots of chocolate eggs! So please join me at Christ’s home this evening and tomorrow. Happy easter one and all, God Bless. Cyril Knutsford, Vicar, Beckworth St Faiths

Old Beckworthian’s Easter Bike Race Tomorrow

I trust you are all enjoying the wonderous Easter weather and are in fine fettle, imbibing on the nectar of spring and partaking of chocolate comestibles… If so please join the anticipated throngs of spectators at Beckworth School’s 17th century velodrome tomorrow afternoon… For Easter Monday will be the annual cycle race meeting of the institution’s alumni. A new highlight of the afternoon will be the inaugural The Class of 1953′s “Penny Father’s competition,” when we are expecting about half a dozen old boys and masters to ride their vintage high-wheeler Penny Farthing bikes, all aiming to win the Rt Hon Alvin “Toffee Smuggler” Lewes Cup. It will be a must see event amongst many must see events. Yours Sir T.T. “Wonky” Windsor. President. Beckworth School Old Boys