Dear flock. Just to remind you that tomorrow morning’s All Hallows (All Saints) Day service will be starting slightly later than usual at (11.15am) as I am getting my first tatoo inked first thing. I’ve drawn it myself and i’m pretty chuffed with it, even the bishop approves (it’s of the Marks & Spencer’s St Michael’s logo, so it combines my love of M&S pants and of the real Saint St Michael).
As for the service, please gather outside the church at 11.10 and we will all skip into the church singing When The Saints Go Marching In and as usual we hope to be accompanied by the local prison brass band (if they don’t all try to escape as they have in the past). Please remember to come to the service dressed as your favourite saint and carry a carved-out tomato as a lantern (for this is the ancient Christian tradition on All Hallows before everyone turned to pumpkins). See you all tomorrow.
May your God be with you, Cyril Knutsford. Vicar. Beckworth St Faiths
(Above) The inspiration for the vicar’s religious tatoo