Gary Grimsby MBE
It’s Great To Be Back Where I Belong
Reply
Author Archives: a resident of Beckworth
A New Day, A New Mayor
Remember To Vote In The Mayoral Elections Tomorrow
Nail Biting Finish In MayDay Fish Race
Celebrate Mayday Outside Your Favourite Pub
This is a message to all of you who, like me want the World to get back to normal; get blattered on cheap ale and rock out all day tomorrow. Or at least in the evening. This Mayday we’re celebrating in “heaveee denim & leather” style with local metal (husband, wife and nephew three piece) band, Jack, Emma & Rory Sabbath. This is their, and our first gig in over a year, and they promise to turning our beer garden into a muddy mini Monsters Of Rock Festival. We had hoped the Isle of Mann’s favourite goth metal rockers Dead Zeppelin and one man band Ian Maiden, would be supporting, but Covid restrictions mean they’d have had to quaranteen for 10 days, so have both pulled out. It’s only twenty-one quid on the door, and the band have said they’ll play a set every hour or so from 6pm. Mayday’s featured ale at the pub is Satan’s Knackers. Advance warning: If you’re coming with the family it’s probably best to keep the oldies and young ‘uns in the car with some pop and crisps! Happy Mayday Cindy Carmarthen, Bar Manager, The Blind Badger Pub & Venue
Socially Distanced MayDay Fish Race Tomorrow
Join Us At The MayDay Market This Sunday
Hello Beckworth. It’s your glorious Mayor here… Don’t forget tomorrow, the annual french Le Marche De Fromage Et Onion (Cheese And Onion Market) will be back in town. All sellers have been in quaranteen & tested daily for a couple of weeks whilst staying at the local campsite, so are Covid free. This is the first chance to buy expensive french cheeses and onions directly from stall-holders and to be abused in two languages. Last years online event was sadly a debacle not to be repeated. Cheese doesn’t travel well in the post from France… Due to social distancing we will be limiting numbers entering the market and queueing systems will be in place… Alcohol will be prohibited offered due to previous drunken incidents by a rowdy few.
As is traditional (face mask wearing) Emmental Fromagiers will set off from from Town Hall steps at 10am on Sunday and parade along Floyd Street to the market.
If the weather perks up (it doesn’t feel like Spring, April has been so cold) there will be events for the whole family (maximum six members excluding small animals). Socially distanced morris dancing by The Beckworth Bothamers is likely, but there’ll be no clacking of sticks or such interaction between them. A kite display by local celebrity Noel Edmunds is very likely as Noel says he needs the publicity and of course the highlight of the afternoon will be the crowning of Beckworth’s Miss Garlic 2021 (He crown and robes will be thrown to her or him from a safe distance (2 metre plus).
This year the “now all electric” steam-driven carrousel and dodgems” will be for viewing only from a safe distance, as will Flintlock Farm’s Mobile (Non)Petting Zoo. Derek Shipston’s (non-violent, non-swearing PC) Punch & Judy show is likely to be set up to entertain Covid free children and the Beckworth & Crewbury Historical Re-enactors plan to stage their once popular The Life Of Joan Of Arc at The Sports Field.
Have happy and safe Mayday.Thanking you most warmly. Aashif Ackworth. Mayor.
All Political Roads (allegedly) Lead To Beckworth
Local MP at the heart of all recent Tory scandals… Obtaining a £6,000,000 to provide PPE despite never having supplied medical supplies (and not actually supplying anything so far), Diddy David Cameron’s lobbying, the failure of Track & Trace and Boris Johnsons redecoration of Downing Street… He is also claiming it was he who told Boris to say **** another lockdown, lets line the streets with dead bodies…
Prince Philip Funeral To Be Shown On The Biggish Screen
Hello my loyal subjects of Beckworth. Firstly may I extend, on your behalf, my condolences to HM The Queen for the loss of her dear husband of thirty years, Prince Philip. Secondly due to my personal generosristy I will allow the general public to view the funeral on biggish office TV which I will place, facing the street, on my windowsill. Due to social distancing please keep your family bubbles 2metres apart from others (or sit in your cars) and do refrain from drinking, swearing & picnicking outside the council offices. I do hope you’ll join me in watching the Duke’s last journey. Thanking you most warmly. Aashif Ackworth. Mayor
Support Your Local Shops, Re-Opening Today
Hello all. Today many of Beckworth’s local shops are re-opening their doors due to a relaxation of the recent draconian emergency laws. I’m encouraging you to all to visit them all, and our pubs, gyms, cafes, massage parlours, etc in the hope they can bounce back. Some have sadly shut for the last time so it’s important we support what’s left, so why not flock to the high street and show your support? Stay safe, don’t stay home anymore except when you need to workt. Yours sincerely, Valerie Saddleworth CBE. Chairlady. The Beckworth Guild of Trade & Commerce