After a week away, having been seconded to the costa del crime (Bournemouth), I am stunned to come back and find the station swamped by two found objects. Note worthy for their apparent non-connection (to the untrained-mind) are a silver euphonium and a single unisex sandal, a bit like the sort Christians wear, with socks. The sandal is stained with blood, or it has been suggested by an inexperienced colleague as a coffee stain (but I think we can dismiss that theory). The large and heavy euphonium has been engraved with distinctive girly-swirly patterns (like leaves) and over-the-top lettering with the name Henry.

Do you know a large unisex brass instrument player (of either gendre) who dresses like a sock-wearing Jesus and is hobbling around town with footwear missing? Do they have a euphonium they’ve named Henry and which they have absent-mindedly mislaid?

If so, we’d like to hear from you… Maybe Henry’s rightful owner is offering a no-questions asked cash reward for it’s safe return? Please ring 999 and ask for PC R Cowgrove at Beckworth Police station, who is a dab hand hand with lost and found. (By the way, we’re still waiting to hear from the owners of three trumpets and a flugelhorn). PC R Cowgrove

(Above) Jesus, is this your sandal?