Plastic Cutlery Amnesty

Dear all. As you may be aware, one of Mother Earth’s scarcest resources, namely plastic cutlery, is now in very short supply. It is feared that without taking drastic action now we may ultimately face a future without disposable tableware. “Customers come to my restaurants expecting the finest throw-away spoons, forks and knives” says chef Gordon Ramsey “They f****** love ‘em! But soon I’ll have to stop giving them away as they’re getting more expensive than the f****** ingredients in my food.” To try and save our beloved cutlery the World’s Eco Emporiums and Health Food Shops (such as mine) are uniting and holding a month long Plastic Cutlery Amnesty. Campaign spokesperson Russell Brand says “If you, or someone you know, has such used or unused cutlery you can anonymously drop it into a designated bin no questions asked. So clear out your drawers and handbags. Just imagine, together we can save these beautiful man-made utensils from extinction and continue to harvest this precious commodity for generations to come.” Well said Mr Brand. Clifford Pinner

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(Above) Without your help this increasingly sought after cutlery will be lost forever