Today we hope the whole of Beckworth will join with us and observe a two minute silence at 11pm to honour the fallen of World War One. Thanks you. G. Grimsby, Mayor
Two Minutes Silence
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Category Archives: Mayor Gary Grimsby
Tour De France Slight Detour
Hello all. Just a quick update on today’s historic visit by the Tour Of France french cycling race. After many months of careful planning it was due to come through the very heart of our community. But due to unexpected subsidence and holes opening up, due to the fracking on the high street, the Tour will be hastily re-routed over Beck Hill, around the council estate and mosque, along by the extensive road works, through the refuse dump and children’s playground and finally past the nuclear power station. It won’t effect what is bound to be an exciting and once (maybe twice) in a lifetime day out for all the family. Thanks G. Grimsby. Mayor
(Above) The slight detour on the Beck Hill stage of the Tour De France
Strike Over
Hello. Fantastic news just in, the annual strike by the council’s IT department was resolved this morning in just half an hour at the arbitration company ACAS. Many concessions have been made by the council. The main sticking point of upgrading council funded free biscuits from the current ginger nuts to milk chocolate hobnobs was solved by a compromise of now supplying plain hob nobs. The IT dept will slowly return to work although they have warned they may strike again in August, just to keep their hand in and keep us on our toes. Thanks, G. Grimsby. Mayor
(Above) The Hobnob biscuits that thanks to ACAS put an end to IT’s recent strike
Continued Strike Action
Hello. Apologies for the continued annual strike by the council’s IT department and therefore the lack of lack of posts on this site. With Andy Murray out of Wimbledon the strikers have now agreed to go to arbitration, probably as soon as tomorrow morning if they wake up early enough (they have told me they rather like having a lie in and not working). Sorry for any inconvenience, G. Grimsby. Mayor
(Above) Andy Murray pictured in action earlier, before his disastrous trouncing at Wimbledon
Strike Action
Hello. Apologies for the lack of updates on the site, this is due to the annual strike by the council’s IT department. This year’s strike has caught us on the hop as it’s occurred a couple of months earlier than normal (coincidentally at the same time as the world cup). This year staff are demanding one day working from home (not really feasible as neither of them have internet at home, although installing Sky is on their list of demands) and they want Friday afternoons off to enjoy both lunch time and happy hour in The Bear & Pumpkin pub. We’re hoping to go to arbitration, which may happen this week as England seem likely to be out of the world cup very soon. Sorry for the inconvenience, G. Grimsby. Mayor
(Above) Beckworth’s striking IT department are joined by sympathetic passers-by on the promise of free cakes and coffee if they mill about about and look vaguely menacing
This Weekend’s Fan Convention Postponed
Apologies all. This weekend’s News At Ten fan convention has been postponed as the scout hut has been double booked with local actress Helen Mirren’s hen do. I’ll let you know the new date when I have it. Gary Grimsby. Mayor
(Above) News At Ten’s Sir Terry McDonald OBE who was due to be signing autographs and selling merchandise in the scout hut this weekend
Fish Race Won By Large Goldfish
Hello all. I trust you all enjoyed the annual Beckworth MayDay Fish Race as much as I and weren’t put off by the anti-vivisectionist’s scuba division trying to delay the race by swimming with the racing fish. The event was only held up by 20 minutes whilst the protestors were caught by local anglers and there weren’t too many serious injuries. Congratulations to Robson Green whose pet goldfish Rose won the race in record time. It was the third time Rose had raced in the event but she’d never got a podium position before, so well done. Perseverance and daily training really paid off. G.Grimsby. Mayor
(Above) Rose proudly shows off her gold medal, with owner and trainer Robin Green
Thank Cod For The May Day Fish Race
Hello all. Please note that tomorrow it’s the annual Beckworth MayDay Fish Race, and the good news is the bookies will be opening early so you can have a flutter on our scaley racers. So go on, treat yourself. The race is a must for all the family, but please remember not to bring any pet cats or kittens. We want to avoid any entries being eaten before and during the race, as has happened in previous years.
Competitors, please bring your race-prepared fishes (You should all have been issued with your race colours and unique numbers to paint on the sides of your aquatic entry) to the Pamela Anderson Memorial Room in the library at 12:30 for the weigh-in. Just to clarify, although sharks are fish they are still banned from the competition. The race will start at 2 sharp from the Ginsters Bridge, and the starter this year will be local celeb and TV’s Mr teetotal, Keith Chegwin (himself a big fan of angling). See you tomorrow, weather permitting (if it is stormy the race will take place in Beckworth High School’s swimming pool). G.Grimsby. Mayor
(Above) Last year’s worthy winner Norma Neston with her trainer Des
Mother’s Day Donkey, Sheep & Poultry Farmer’s Market
Hello. Don’t forget that Beckworth’s annual Mothering Sunday Donkey, Sheep and Poultry Farmer’s Market is on today. The free event is taking place in the Sainsco car park and will be opened at 10am by Countryfile‘s John Craven and his co-host who’s name escapes me. It’s a day out for the whole family, with stalls selling everything from sheepskin coats to cosmetics made from donkey entrails. The abattoir will be putting on it’s ever popular displays, and for £50 you can even buy your Mum the chance to have a go herself. What better way is there to say “I love you Mum” than by letting her get up close to a healthy ram and humanely putting it “to sleep”. Apologies in advance: due to last year’s sheep dip “invasion” by a group of eight and nine year old anarchists the dipping trough will be heavily guarded by drunk farmers. See you there, and remember to wear wellies as there will be animal s**t everywhere. Gary Grimsby. Mayor.
(Above) Follyfoot Farm’s mobile sheep dip photographed last year just before juvenile anarchists jumped in it
Chinese Mime Goes Up In Smoke
Hello all. I am honoured to announce that Beckworth council is hosting a world premier next week when the Chinese State Mime School will be performing their new show, Up In Smoke, on a trailer in the town hall car park (next to the bottle bank). Geri Halliwell, herself a black belt in mime, has brought them to the UK at her own expense and has seen a rehearsal hastily recorded on a mobile phone. She told me it was a very poor quality recording but she could just make out that it was a cautionary tale warning of the perils of pipe smoking in hot air balloons. Given the school’s reputation in mime circles it will probably be first class. Tickets are £10 each and there will be performances daily all next week at 11am, 2pm and 6pm. Sorry, but due to some adult content it is over 18s only. Yours Gary Grimsby. Mayor. Beckworth Town Council
Not to be missed next week The Chinese State Mime School will be performing their new show, Up In Smoke, on a trailer in the town hall car park