Hello all. I’d just like to tell you about today’s momentous unveiling of Beckworth’s latest bit of public art. It was a low key event at the artist’s insistence, hence the publicity blackout, but was unveiled by art lover, and local celeb, Piers Morgan, who popped back from America to do the honours. Commissioned on behalf of the town council, by Piers, it was created by famed sculpture, and news reader, Trevor McDonald. The piece, entitled Peace, was 3 years in the making but I’m sure you’ll agree it was well worth the wait.

Standing over 40 feet in height and made of bronze (painted black to look a bit like rubber) it replaces the priceless Barbara Hepworth scupture that was stolen from the park and melted down to be made into corrugated-roofing by Eastern Europeans roofers. A snip at £4.5million+VAT it will surely become as popular as our old Hepworth was and has pride of place near the children’s swings and slide. A very proud Mr Donald was quoted as saying “i’d like to see the b*****ds try and steal this!” Thanks. G. Grimsby. Mayor