Celebrate National Fish & Chip Day… With A Kebab

We have special offer for peoples who dislike fish and chippys

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Local MP “Returns Fire” Over Cummings “Dom Shells”

Its all rubblish, lies, etc… We only awarded PPE contracts to mates as we knew the (non-existant) PPE itself would be swept under the carpet and all the lovely lolly will be divided up amoingst Tory faithful. Even in a pandemic we can get rich, or richer… Lady Thatcher would be so proud

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Eurovision Delivers Decisive Slap In The Face To Blighty

Nil points from our foreign cousins because we left the European Union

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At Last A Positive Quote from Prince Harry

In the latest rounds of podcasts, TV appearances, shop openings etc, publicity shy Prince Harry (aka Lord Sussex) has been slagging off his family and his life as a priveleged Royal in order to boost sales of his wife’s debut book The Bench (a glossay of benches). At long last in amongts all the negativity there is one positive… Harry has recpunted to his new best friend friend and confident Oprah Winfrey, how his happiest days of childhood and adulthood have been passing through, or near, to our very own town of Beckworth…

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Hug A Thug, And Cut A Rug (Indoors) Today….

Today, I think we can hug, and have six people indoors…

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The Doors Are Open, The Ale Is Warm. Welcome Back To Your Favourite Pub

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Last Minute Postponement to Ava Berlin’s Remembrance Day Parade

Sadly due to continuing Covid restrictions

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My First Great Action As Mayor

Hello all, thanks again for voting me back as Mayor. It is a well deserved position for me to be back filling, after a gap of 4 long years, because I am currently on sick leave from my job as an environmental street clean operative. I promised to overturn many of the previous Tory mayor’s heinous selfish acts, and true to my word first up is to clean and reinstate the majestic 12″ Terry Nutkin statue which once graced the alcove outside the The John & Yoko Room in The Town Hall. It was commissioned by yours truly a fair few years ago and for the past 4 has been gathering dust in a drawer. Now the diminutive tourist attraction will be back where it belongs… And when the town hall reopens you’ll get to see it. But please do not touch it. Thanks G. Grimsby. Mayor

 

 

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It’s Great To Be Back Where I Belong

Gary Grimsby MBE

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