Local Residents Disappointment Over Ashley Madison Leak

Extramarital news just in… A street survey conducted this week about the Ashley Madison (adultery website) leak shows that 97% of local residents are extremely outraged about the shameful hacking of names and addresses of site users. The most common reason given for people’s fury is that none of Beckworth’s residents are on the list. “This is a real disappointment” said one person “I find it hard to believe that no one round here’s having an affair.” Another explained “Being on a leaked “swingers” list could have put Beckworth on the map!” He then added imploringly “I for one would love to get some hot action. Her indoors has always got a migraine. Or her lumbagos playing up” I’ll keep you posted if more details from the survey may come in, or if i get any leaked names to share… Christine Batley. Chief Elicit Nooky-On-The-Side Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

Beckworth_Ashley Maddison

(Above) An artists impression of two randy Ashley Madison members having an illicit affair. At a garden centre.