Hello everyone. As you are probably aware one of the devil’s favourite shops is hoping to open in the High Street on the site of the old Kwikfit. This shop will doubtless overrun our main thoroughfare and be free to spread depravity, prostitution, petty larceny and litter with it’s plethora of tempting cheap coffee and moist cake offers. I for one don’t want Beckworth to go the way of every other depraved UK high street and so propose we oppose the planning permission. This faceless International Irish coffee chain Cost O’Bucks must be halted from blighting our beautiful town and for this reason I am proposing we form an action committee. I have taken it upon myself to name it, Stop This Ubiquitous Coffee Chain Opening aka STUCCO, and have booked the snug at The Blind Badger this Tuesday at 7pm to have an inaugural meet. Please spread the word and see you then. Thank you, Ray Eastleigh. Chairperson and founder. STUCCO