Please beware residents of Beckworth. An asylum seeker has been found hiding inside Sainsco supermarket secreting himself in the vegetable aisle. A home-office translator has said the refugee had travelled thousands of miles from a very warm Senegal due to suffering a lifetime of severe sun stroke whilst residing there. Hitching a lift in a sweet corn to seek a new life in the UK he is said to be in rude health, although doctors can’t work out if he’s currently sleeping or actually dead. The caterpillar has 60 days to make his claim for asylum and in the mean time is being paid unemployment benefits and given a roof over his head in a lettuce at a council run B&B. Thank you, Abdul Ackworth, chemist.
Abduls The Chemist, 17 Floyd Street, Beckworth

(Above) The asylum seeker found hiding earlier today