Breaking News In Lama Drama

Hello, I’ve just had a text message reporting a kerfuffle in the dry cleaners. The text didn’t go into details, nor mention what species was causing the rumpus, but I’m assuming it would be beyond coincidence not to be the lamas. They could be after clean clothes to put us off their scent? Doris Palmer (Fern Britton‘s in-house authority on lamas) explained that they are masters of disguise and are cut out for life on the run, being a hardy cross breed between camels and goats. Fern was unavailable to comment as she’s at the Beckworth Hall Spa having a facial and one of those treatments where fish eat your feet. Anyway, I’ll keep you posted as the story unfolds (the lama story, not fern’s feet). Christine. Chief Crime Reporter at The Beckworth Guardian and neighbourhood watch coordinator

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