Lost: Man’s Brown Shoe, Size 11

If anyone finds a brown shoe somewhere near the market square please let me know. I think I lost it at yesterdays johnny foreigner market thing but to be honest the whole of the last week is a blur as i was out getting blootered in memory of St George and Lady Thatcher. Now I think of it, it could be absolutely anywhere, I’m not even sure if I went out wearing shoes as I started getting jolly at home. Did anyone see me in the street? Was I wearing shoes? Actually, come to think of it I may have lost a tweed jacket also.

Any help would be appreciated. Colonel T. Ludlow (Ret’d)