Real Cinderella “Glass Slipper” Found

Hello. Big news in the police station this morning as a “Cinderella like glass slipper” has been found in a tree by an observant member of the public. The “crystal footwear” was firmly lodged into the lower branches of an elm (or it could be an oak or fir… to be honest trees aren’t my strong point) in Noakes Park near the disused Timmy Mallet memorial fountain. The “slipper”, or to be accurate, black leather lace-up brogue, is thought to have been thrown in anger during a lovers tiff, or just accidentally fallen off during a climbing incident, and is currently being “dusted for prints” by forensics. The whole park has been sealed off for public safety and we are appealing for witnesses. Are you, or someone you know, hobbling around with only one shoe on? Have you lost your favourite footwear and as a consequence can’t go to the supermarket, or to a ball? Do you have ugly sisters who are really cross-dressing men or an evil stepmother who makes you do unpaid cooking and cleaning? If so CID would like to hear from you. Please ring 999 and ask for PC R Cowgrove at Beckworth Police station. I will be single-handedly handling this perplexing case and hope to be in line for a very large cash reward when I find who the “slipper” fits. I’ll keep you posted on developments. Yours, PC Cowgrove. Beckworth Police

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(Above) “Cinderella’s glass slipper” found earlier today in the park