Eldest Beckham Boy Signs Pants Modelling Deal

Underwear news just in… Proud parents, and local novelty-gift shop owners, Dave and Vicky Beckham have just announced in a rambling text message that their eldest son, Peckham Beckham, has landed his first two-figure modelling deal. Beckham Jnr, aged 17 and studying cake decorating at catering college, is to be the 2015 face, or rather arse, of Kevin Kline‘s very snug pants and builder’s bum jeans. His father Dave emailed me the picture (see below) and proudly added “he really takes after his old man in the package and buns department, so showing off Kev’s pants and strides is really up his street.” I couldn’t agree more and will post more revealing pictures of Peckham if i can get them!!! Christine Batley. Chief Very Brief Briefs And Super Tight Denim Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

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(Above) Peckham Beckham modelling Kevin Kline pants earlier today

International Show Venue Change

Hello all. Just to let you know that this years’ much anticipated International Wheelbarrow (And Garden Sprinkler) Show has been moved due to the original venue, the village hall, having been double booked with an absorbing exhibition of victorian inflatable sex dolls. No stone has been left unturned in finding a new site for the prestigious garden accessory show and I am thrilled to announce that it will now be held in a garage round the back of the health food emporium (once the owner has had a tidy up and removed her car). This is the 13th year that Beckworth is hosting the IWAGSS and it will be opened on Monday at 6.30am by green fingered hose-users, David and Victoria Beckham. Yours sincerely, Valerie Saddleworth CBE. Chairlady. The Beckworth Guild of Trade & Commerce

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(Above) David and Vicky Beckham arrive early to rehearse opening the International Wheelbarrow (And Garden Sprinkler) Show