Well Done BBC

Posted on 24/04/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

Well done to the BBC for at last airing a comedy that is both side-splittingly funny, well acted and is suitable for all the family (no ruddy swearing for once). I’m talking about The Wright Way, written by Elton John. I won’t spoil the plot but let’s just say it’s about a health & saftey inspector (something close to my heart). It’s got great characters that are hilarious. My only criticism is it’s on too late (I was canny and recorded it, then watched it this morning after viewing Homes Under The Hammer).

Watch it. You won’t regret it. Ray Eastleigh

(Above) Successful sitcom writer Elton John

Outrage 23/7

Posted on 23/04/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

Good morning Beckworth. I’m sorry to trouble you but i’m getting myself worked up into rather a lather over the stupidity of town planning. I’m not against progress, far from it, I campaigned tirelessly for the town to have pop-up urinals, now sited near the market, and to install hanging-baskets outside Bradford’s the Butchers.
But is anyone else as appalled as me about the local Sainsco supermarket applying to stay open 23 hours a day seven days a week?Outrageously they intend to only close between 2am and 3am.It’s a ridiculous idea, that surely won’t hold water with the town elders? I, for one, will be writing to the councillors to condone the plans in very strong language.
I mean why 2 to 3am? That’s just stupid. Those are the hours when mother and I like to do our weekly shop, when it is quiet… So hands off our traditional British late night/early morning excursions, Sainsco.

Yours, S. Bendish

(Above) The pop-up urinals near the market

Hello Ducks

Posted on 23/04/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

Last night me and my partner had a fantastic meal in that swanky new Gary Rhodes restaurant on Floyd Street, The Two Fat Ducks. For mains we had the signature Asian Fusion dish, Frites avec sauce curry (chips with curry sauce). It was totally devine, and we really recommend it. (Also, there’s 20% off on Monday nights, so it’s as cheap as chips!). Thanks Ronnie

(Above) Chef Gary Rhodes with head waitress Rose

Beckworth Star Spot: David Milliband

Posted on 22/04/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

I’ve just spotted the Prime Minister’s brother, David Milliband, in the post office applying for a new passport. He wasn’t happy when told he shouldn’t be grinning in the photo and would have to get another taken. He got very shirty with Mary behind the counter, but then that’s celebs for you. They’re all up themselves. Regina

(Above) David Milliband’s rejected passport photo

The O APprentice

Posted on 22/04/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

Good evening Beckworth. I’m very pleased to see my favourite apprenticeship based TV programme, The Apprentice, is returning to our screens for its 32nd series.

But come on Sir Albert Sugar, how’s about a version for us more mature members of society? I speak for many of my generation when I say there’s plenty of juice left in the old dog, and like many I’d be up for coming out of retirement to work at your computer factory. And being an insomniac I could even work the night shift.

So Sir Sugar, don’t write us off and concentrate on youngsters, give us a punt, you’ve got nothing to lose. The BBC could even call it the Octogenarian Apprenticeship Protoges and put it on at a sensible time. Just before Bargain Hunt. Thanks, Ray Eastleigh

(Above) Sir Sugar overjoyed at the prospect of presenting another series of The Apprentice

Look It’s Me… On My Old Bike

Posted on 19/04/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

Dear Public

I was just rifling through some drawers and came across this old photo of a young Clifford astride my trusty Raleigh bike. I rode that cycle daily for almost 20 years and went miles on it. I had many holidays on the saddle here and abroad, attended peace camps, festivals and CND rallys, all thanks to my trusty steed. I even had it when I lived on a kibbutz for a year, though the sandy roads played havoc with my chain.

I’m still a keen cyclist because, after shanks pony, it’s the greenest way to travel. Me and my lovely wife Jane have now got a tandem which we use as often as we can, though the inclement weather means we don’t do many long trips anymore.

Yours, Clifford Pinner

Good Afternoon Listener

Posted on 19/04/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

Or good evening if you are viewing this towards the end of the day with a fine bottle of vintage port in one hand and a lit thigh-rolled cigar between your teeth.

My name is Percival DeBeckworth-Hereford, and as an impotant member of society I was one of the first people interviewed by Dr Kennedy for this website.

Here is an extract or two, which I hope are very enlightening.

Regards, PDH

I’m Free. Not literally free. But very cheap

Posted on 16/04/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

Hello, I’m Leslie Warwick (you’ve probably heard of me) and this is my first time writing on a face book. It’s just like writing a letter to a lot of people isn’t it, but without needing to use lots of paper, hunting for envelopes, steaming off and reusing stamps, or for that matter, searching out an unvandalised postbox.

The great thing about this website is I can use it to get bookings, it’s cheaper than sticking a note in the newsagent’s window. As it say’s on my business card (Please see below) I’m a well-known female impersonator, available to book for children’s and adults parties, weddings, redundancies, and funerals, that sort of thing.

Please contact me through this site, I currently have every afternoon and evening free (plus all day Sundays) to do gigs, as they are called in the heady world of showbiz.

Thanking you kindly, Leslie Warwick

Welcome To Visit Beckworth

Posted on 04/04/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

Hello all. My name is Gary Grimsby and as Mayor I have been given the honour of cutting an imaginary red-ribbon to officially open this website (It’s lucky it’s not a real ribbon as due to sweeping council cutbacks i don’t have any scissors) .

Anyway, it gives me great pleasure to declare this website open, and I now leave it to all the residents to upload interesting words and photos, of a non-offensive nature, for the world to see.

Many thanks Gary Grimsby

Life in Beckworth

Bringing you the (almost) everyday comings and goings of the residents of Beckworth, a typical English market town. Informing you about their lives through the mediums of words, images, an interactive map and stereophonic sound recordings

Monthly Archives: April 2013