Monthly Archives: June 2015

Annual Fan Convention This Weekend

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Dear all. A reminder for your diary; this weekend Beckworth is hosting the second annual News At Ten fan convention. The two-day event is once again being held in the scout hut and this year will be opened by ITV newsreader Julie Etchingham (I’ve no idea who she is but i’m told she is well know to some fans). Attractions at the event will be book signings and selfies with newsreaders of old, even Natasha Kaplinsky has promised to attend as her autobiography is selling poorly. There will also be a pop-up shop selling News At Ten DVDs, a cocktail bar and and the chance to win dinner at McDonalds with Fiona Bruce and Trevor McDonald. Sounds unmissable to anyone with a passing interest in the news. Yours Natalie Clifton, Tourist Information

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(Above) Mrs J. Etchingham clearly looks delighted at the thought of attending this weekends’ fan convention

Funeral Director’s Open Day

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Hello. Just to let you know that this Friday one of our local undertakers (Tottenham and Arsenal Funeral Directors) will be throwing open it’s door as part of the Government’s national Hey Scrounger, Get A Job programme. Bone-idle job-seekers who attend are promised hands-on experience, and they can even bring their nearest and dearest. Activities at the openday will include hearse maintainance; grave digging; grave-stone carving; coffin carrying and lowering; condolence giving; and best of all cadaver embalming and dressing. It’s bound a thrilling day out for all the family and there will be tea and biscuits; coffin-testing for the elderly and, weather permitting, for the under-fives a ball-pool in a recently dug grave. It really will be a wonderful day, so see you there.

More local employers are promising similar open days so keep watching this space. Ruth Freshford. Manager. JobCentrePlus

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(Above) Local grave-digger Jeremy Kyle Snr prepares a grave for Friday’s open day

Take Your Clothes Off For Road Safety

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Hello. In a couple of weeks, on the Sunday 14th June, your local naturists (the Beckworth and Slocombe branch) are sending a crack team to the World Naked Bike Ride that’s happening in Brighton. The event is to highlight cycling safety issues and expose the general public to the joy of riding in the nude. Exciting news is we still have some seats available on the coach. We’ll be setting off early on Sunday morning, with a pit stop “nude breakfast” arranged at services on the A23, and a “naked pub dinner” at a Harvester on the way back. So if you are a keen cyclist (with your own bike) itching to go nude this is the day trip for you, and your family. The coach will cost £175 per person (children £115) with meals and drinks extra. I hope to see you on the coach, Lionel T. Worton. Secretary. Beckworth and Slocombe Naturists

Warren’s Back Tonight

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Televisual news just in… A third series of the BAFTA award winning children’s docudrama Warren In My Sporran (produced by local TV company Livingstone Productions for BBC Scotland and repeated on Dave) starts this evening at 6.30. For those of you who’ve missed the previous series Daniel Day Lewis stars as Warren, a deminutive adult vagrant who lives in the sporran of young Highland’s boy Angus MacDonald. The latter character was originally played by Ronnie Corbett but for this series he is replaced by Rupert Grint of Harry Potter fame. The episodes follow Warren’s hilarious adventures in and out of Angus’s kilt, with many scenes shot in and around Beckworth. I can’t wait to see it, i’m a big fan and have got series 1 and 2 on DVD! Christine Batley. Chief Television & Film Reporter. Beckworth Guardian

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(Above) (Above) Method actor Daniel Day Lewis stars as the small tramp Warren who makes his home in young Angus MacDonald’s sporran