Nil points from our foreign cousins because we left the European Union

In the latest rounds of podcasts, TV appearances, shop openings etc, publicity shy Prince Harry (aka Lord Sussex) has been slagging off his family and his life as a priveleged Royal in order to boost sales of his wife’s debut book The Bench (a glossay of benches). At long last in amongts all the negativity there is one positive… Harry has recpunted to his new best friend friend and confident Oprah Winfrey, how his happiest days of childhood and adulthood have been passing through, or near, to our very own town of Beckworth…

Sadly due to continuing Covid restrictions

Hello all, thanks again for voting me back as Mayor. It is a well deserved position for me to be back filling, after a gap of 4 long years, because I am currently on sick leave from my job as an environmental street clean operative. I promised to overturn many of the previous Tory mayor’s heinous selfish acts, and true to my word first up is to clean and reinstate the majestic 12″ Terry Nutkin statue which once graced the alcove outside the The John & Yoko Room in The Town Hall. It was commissioned by yours truly a fair few years ago and for the past 4 has been gathering dust in a drawer. Now the diminutive tourist attraction will be back where it belongs… And when the town hall reopens you’ll get to see it. But please do not touch it. Thanks G. Grimsby. Mayor