Beckworth’s Biggest, And Best, Dog Set To Raise The Bar, And The Roof, At Crufts

Hello fellow dog lovers. We’ve an exciting weekend ahead as the highlight of the canine calender, Crufts, is once again upon us. And this year Beckworth stands a good chance of winning Biggest In Class, if not the overall Best In Show rosettes. Local dog breeder, and ex-New Kid On The Block, Donnie Wahlberg will be showing David, his Shih Tweiler (a Shih Tsu and a Rottweiler cross breed). David is purportedly the biggest dog ever bred and already dwarfs his owner despite still being a puppy. Cruft’s organisers are hopeful David won’t grow any bigger in coming days as his head almost reaches the arena roof already and a growth spurt would make it impossible to accommodate him within the NEC at Birmingham. Good luck to Donnie and David this weekend, let’s hope they get in the arena and win lots of prizes. Lena “Yorkie” Dartford. Beckworth Kennel Club

Annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show

(Above) Camera shy locals Donnie and David prepare to wow the crowds at Crufts

Local Dog Impressionist Injured During “Heated” Rehearsals

Shocking news just in… Late last night Barking Mad Billy Bristol, famed local dog-impersonator and controversial winner of this year’s Crufts‘ Best In Show, was injured whilst rehearsing the finale of his latest daring canine act. Mr Barking was practicing jumping through a burning hoop whilst dressed as a poodle when his costume caught fire and as a consequence his wooden-shed collapsed in on him. Fire, air-ambulance and RSPCA crews were quickly on the scene and at first thought the casualty was a real pooch, so good was Mr Bristol’s outfit and pain-induced howling. The crews worked tirelessly to extinguish the blaze and pull the pretend-poodle out from the smouldering shed and after three hours he was free. Unfortunately they failed to save Billy’s realistic costume and his own lustrous hair. He is now recovering in hospital and was well enough this morning to have breakfasted on a big bone and relieved himself against a lamppost outside A&E. I’ll keep you posted on Mr Mad’s recovery as it happens. Christine Batley. Chief Man Dressed As A Poodle Reporter. Beckworth Guardian

Beckworth_DogMan

(Above) Barking Mad Billy Bristol pictured earlier today before his near-fatal accident