The Beckworth Players are still looking for a male lead, to play Vernon Kay, in their next musical production, All-Star Family Fortunes. So they will be holding another open audition, this coming Tuesday evening at 7.30. Location: The George & Ringo Room at the Town Hall, due to their rehearsal space being fumigated. It’s open to everyone who’s a male, and director (and local celeb) Ross Kemp says he is determined to find his perfect man, “someone with that special something and the ability to act, sing and dance in dangerous situations, just like me”. The musical has been written for us by local celeb, and husband of Ferne Cotton, Vernon Kay! So, to quote Mr Kemp, do you have balls of steel and a voice to melt ice-cream? If so please come along. Just to warn you, Ross wants a man for this role, so no ladies or women at this audition as he has filled all the female parts. All men must be 18 or over (or at least look it), be very muscular and have your own black tap shoes. Given the queues of would-be Dicks who wanted to star in our recent performances of Richard III, we expect to be literally overcome with testosterone, so arrive early. See you Tuesday boys, Chico (producer)