Prison Open Day

Hello. Just to let you know that this Friday our local maximum-security prison (HMP Septonville) will be throwing open it’s door as part of the Government’s national Hey Scrounger, Get A Job programme. Those job-seekers who attended the recent abatoir openday will know it’s likely be a real eye opener and a thrilling day out for all the family (although it is aimed at the workshy everyone is indeed welcome). I’ll be going as I’m desperate to know what it’s like inside!!! So come and meet the inmates. They’ll show you what solitary confinement is like in the high security wing, help you to pick up carelessly-discarded soap in the shower block and even give one-on-one instruction in making mail bags. They will be something for everyone, demonstrations on riot control, dealing with dirty protests and bodysearches for smuggled in narcotics. There’s bingo and physical education for the elderly (so bring your shorts) and for the under-fives there’s Put The Handcuffs On The Convict, hide and seek and, weather permitting, a bouncy castle in the exercise yard. It really will be wonderful, so see you there.

More local employers are promising similar open days so keep watching this space. Ruth Freshford. Manager. JobCentrePlus

PrisonCell

(Above) A Septonville cell. Dirty protest thankfully out of shot