International Twerking Finals

This is a message to remind you all that this friday night The Blind Badger will be hosting the 3rd Annual International Twerking Finals in our back room. Seventeen of the World’s finest twerkers will be descending on Beckworth in the hope of winning a trophy and £500 prize money. Last year’s winner Vera Cyrus-Jones (Mylie Cyrus‘s English cousin) will be head judge alongside Strictly Come Dancing’s “Mr Seven” Len Goodman and local celeb and handyman Les Dennis. A rivetting evening is assured and after the finals Gareth Gates’ Mobile Disco will be rocking the room. It’s only a tenner on the door and this week’s featured ale at the pub is Liquid Night-Rogen. Warning: If you don’t like people wearing flesh-coloured bikinis, showing off their bottoms or grabbing their genitals, then please stay at home! Cindy Carmarthen, Bar Manager, The Blind Badger Pub & Venue

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(Above) The International Twerking Trophy, won last year by Mylie Cyrus’s Cousin Vera

Web Site Back Up And Running

Hi, thanks to all the readers and contributors to this website for your patience and one message of support during our strike-imposed “radio silence” during August. Thanks to arbitration we have bowed to the outrageous demands of the council’s IT Department and will now allow them hourly fag breaks and an hour earlier finish on Fridays to allow them time to enjoy happy hour in The Bear & Pumpkin pub. So it’s now all systems go and we should be able to resume almost daily posts.

So what has happened in Beckworth in the last four weeks I hear you ask? Well, a lot of course but I have limited time so here are the highlights: The local archeological society put on a most enlightening exhibition in the library “Flushed With Success. The History of Toilets, From BC To WC” which included the display of a recently dug-up Roman commode and was opened by local celeb and sanitation fan Ronnie Corbett. The playing fields was the venue for the very first Beckworth Camping and Surfing show. This proved very popular given the hot weather with lots of tents, caravans, deckchairs and surfboards to sample and buy. The annual Follyfoot Farm’s gymkhana saw famous Les Dennis/Chas and Dave tribute act Les and Dayve play their set repeatedly day and night to rapturous applause until a mysterious fire put the generator out of action. The event also saw the Queen’s daughter Dame Zara Philips win the Shetland Pony Derby for the first time and local celeb Ben Fogle win the dressage on his shirehorse Spangles

Local supermarket Sainsco took over sponsorship and cleaning of the pop-up urinals in the market square and a new joke and magic shop “You’ll Like This… Not A Lot” opened on Floyd Street next to the undertakers. Run by father and daughter Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee it aims to cater for the over 60s Silver Surfers.

Beckworth came 52nd in the international Britain In Bloom competition and the local scooter club celebrated 50 years of being Mods with a run to Brighton over the bank holiday. They unfortunately suffered one fatality on the way there when Sam Bedford’s scooter broke down on the A23 and he was run over by the AA van coming to fix it. Still this was thankfully two less deaths than in 1963 when the club was was set upon by axe wielding rockers.

So that was August… Yours Mayor G Grimsby

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(Above) Beckworth’s Scooter Club on their “1963 revisited” run to Brighton just before Sam Bedford’s life was tragically cut short by a breakdown truck